In Control of Our Waking Hours

So, where in my life do I find the most pressure from myself to be in control?

When I first saw the theme of the week, of course I went to the classroom where I spend most of my current waking hours. Actually, make that sleep-deprived hours betwixt 1 and 4AM, and beyond.

To be honest? I am not in control of most of my waking/wakeful hours, and that has made me a bit cranky.

To keep with the consistency of out of control: Today I am not in control of calling in the cats (where I am house sitting) to come and eat their dinner of tuna and shrimp (no matter how much I tell them that I would really like to eat their dinner myself.!!)

woman_breakfast_control

I have come to the conclusion that I am not in control of anything. To make myself clear: I may have control of what I eat, or the vitamins I ingest to stay healthy, but I’ve got no control over the germs that enter my body to make me sick. (I’ve got a sore throat and a terrible cough.)

And as to quality of life? I have no control of finances, jobs, social security, or whatever might happen in the future.

What I can control? Here goes my minimalist list:

The amount of water I use when I shower.
How much plastic I use.
How much electricity I use.
How much crap I consume.
The words from my mouth.
The time I spend exercising.
The food I eat.
My thoughts.
My conversations.
The books I read,
The music I listen and dance to,
What I plant in my garden,
How I use my spare time,
The friendships I cultivate,
The laughter I share,
The time I spend baking bread,
or making meals of curries,
or reading magazines that bring me joy,
or writing poetry,
or expressing myself in verse, or
The time I spend beating myself up.

Control is elusive.

Better sit by a body of water. Be at peace, let your breathing become as one with the ebb and flow of tides, the fish as they swim to and fro, the ducks as they dive and do whatever they do. Better just keep it simple and minimalistic. Become peaceful, accept the fact that you’ve got no control whatsoever. Not over anyone in your care. Not who is going to govern you. Not over your health. Not over the weather. Not over the economy. Not over your finances. Not over where you are going to live tomorrow. Enjoy the clouds, the sunrises and the sunsets. And just let it all go.

[Img.Src: Woman reading a book, 1935]

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