Searching for My Aloha

Do you love where you live? Does your heart ache and expand with that emotion when you consider your life on that pin drop on that part of the map that you call home? That locale for me was Hawaii. You can’t help but immerse yourself in ‘salt life’ while living where we did. And I did. Daily beach walks and runs. Beach combing. Swimming in the sea, lolling on the sand. Sailing. Whale watching. There is nothing better than packing up a cooler and parking your beach chair next to your husband on a Sunday and watch your kids dig and swim and boogie board, and then to be joined by a close group of friends to share the joy.

I also had yoga. So much yoga. I was part of a wonderful community of yogis. I took a teacher’s training course to deepen my practice, and that broadened my yoga community to a rich fullness that the loss of is something I still can’t bare to think about.

We moved to D.C. a year and a half ago, and to say I lost my shit is an understatement. Towards the end of last year I was slowly scraping myself back together when we began to prepare for another big move.

Lithuania.

Upon arrival to our icy cold grey new ‘home’ I again lost my ever loving mind. To be brought up smack in the face, again, with my inability to adjust to such uncomfortable surroundings after the ease of Hawaii, to be reminded and feel so keenly the weakness of my character had/has me wallowing in self pity. What happened to that strong self assured chick who was so comfortable in her skin just 2 years ago? Where did she go? How can I get her back? And if one more bladie person asks me what can I learn from this and maybe this is what I need to grow more strong, blah blah blah, I may go homicidal. No more cliches or platitudes. My moaning, is not a solicitation for advice, but I would take a plane ticket, a one way plane ticket back to the land of ALOHA.

[Img.Src: Palanga, Lithuania]